its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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