I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
