I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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