who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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