In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize