I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
