I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
