Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
