Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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