Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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