OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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