his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
