There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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