I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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