Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
