Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
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I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
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BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize