Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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