Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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