Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she peed on how many people?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
