the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
