sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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