White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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