do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
