soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
