do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
