why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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