I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You made out with two different species that night
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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