Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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