i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
