just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
