yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
