Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
