Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
