You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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