I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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