i think my tv is drunk
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Oh god it's open bar.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
