my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
