actually, I'm a sock model
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
