Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize