She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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