i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize