just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
