Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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