I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There's always time for handjobs
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
