And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
