see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
