You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She swung at the pinata with crutches
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
