i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
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Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
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Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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