You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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