I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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