I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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