There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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