How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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