addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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