he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize