I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just googled if crying burns calories
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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