don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
