Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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