Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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