At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
