I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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