I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
